A Wee Carnaptious Wifie and her Blootered Man

The wind was fair snell and then it began tae Ding doon wi’ rain when a wee Dundee wifie was seen walkin’ wi’ a hirple doon the Overgate in her baffies. Now this wife wis kenspeckled as she was a right Carnaptious cratur because of her man, a real Mink and a Bampot he wis.

Now wee Jess wis aye kent tae be Perjink, but the day, she seemed tae be in a richt Guddle and looked fell Puggled. “Whit’s up wi’ ye Jess,” I says,” yer in a fair Fankle the day?”

“Aye and so wid you be wi’ a Corrie-fisted, Bubbly-jock o’ a man like mine, but I’ve nae time for Clishmaclaver the noo, I’m in a hurry”.

“Och, Jess, ye can be a richt wee Scunner sometimes, I jist windered whit had upset ye? “

“That Ice Creamer on the van cawed Wull Tarry-fingered. Now that’s a load o’ Mince. What’s happened is, ye ken he’s aye been able tae Take a good bucket and he’s gone oot and got Blootered wi’ he’s pals and then efter getting ice cream aff the van, it’s gi’en him the Boak. Wee Emi-lio didnae like Wull saying his ice cream was Mingin so He’s got hisel’ intae a Rammy and a’ ower a Pokey-hat! He’s that Thirled he wid want the last word an a’!