1959 EdselImage by dave_7 via Flickr
The American auto industry is in deep trouble, and our government is hard at work trying to save it through some complex type of taxpayer funded loan, subsidy, or Christmas present. An easier way to attack the problem is as follows.

Pass legislation requiring every American citizen with a driver’s license to own or lease at least one vehicle manufactured by a U.S. automaker.

Viola! Problem solved. My proposal has several blockbuster features. First, it’s simple – a refreshing change indeed from the arcane financial instruments and baffling legislation we’ve been marinating in over the past several months.

Second, it overcomes the problem of consumers choosing foreign cars based on peripheral factors. My proposal takes quality off the table. It takes fuel efficiency off the table. High resale value – off the table. Consumers simply cannot be trusted to make purchasing decisions based on the correct factors.

Third, it preserves free trade. Restrictions on free trade (the next shoe to drop in any other bailout scenario) have devastating consequences for the world economy. My proposal makes them unnecessary. Americans losing their freedom to choose a vehicle is a small price to pay for maintaining world peace, don’t you think?

Last but not least, my proposal 100% guarantees lifetime employment and explosive market share growth for U.S. automakers. No competing bailout program can make that claim! Heck, under my program, pensions could be extended to heirs, friends, and neighbors.

In short, my proposal captures the spirit of our political intentions and the public will. Let’s face it – legislators can’t hope to salvage our auto industry while hamstrung by free market whimsy. It’s time to be bold.

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