Once upon a time there were three little entrepreneurs named Moe, Larry, and Curly. They worked in the Virtual Forest, a shadowy land where danger lurked everywhere, especially in this vicious economic downturn. In all the world, the three little entrepreneurs were most afraid of the Big Bad Banker, who was set to put a lien on their assets. In order to pay down principal on their outstanding loans, Moe, Larry, and Curly decided the time had come to make changes.

old-fashioned-manMoe, who sold straw hats, decided on a traditional, interruption marketing campaign, complete with direct mail, banner advertising, and telemarketing solicitation. “These tactics worked for me in the ’80’s and the ’90’s and the ’00’s,” Moe observed. “No reason they won’t work for me now!” But to his dismay, the letters produced no inquiries, the banner ads delivered no conversions, and the only responses to his telemarketing calls were a couple of death threats. Sales slid until one day, Moe heard a knock at the door. “OPEN UP!” cried the Big Bad Banker. “Or I’ll huff and I’ll puff and I’ll blow your business away!” Moe grabbed Mrs. Moe and the kids and made a run for it.

frightened-manLarry, who sold wood furniture, decided to hunker down and stockpile cash. “It would be imprudent to spend money on activities with no direct bottom line impact,” Larry reasoned. “I’ll stay in my house and ride it out.” But incoming orders dwindled, until one day his mountain of money had melted into a puddle of pocket change. That was the day he heard a knock at the door. “OPEN UP!” cried the Big Bad Banker. “Or I’ll huff and I’ll puff and I’ll blow your business away!” Larry grabbed Mrs. Larry and the kids and made a run for it.

happy-manCurly, who sold brick ovens, decided to start blogging and see what he could do on LinkedIn and Twitter. When Moe and Larry – who were now living in Curly’s basement – heard this, they laughed and laughed. “You might as well throw your cash in one of those ovens, for all the good social media will do you,” they scoffed. But Curly was not deterred, and in a few weeks, his oven business began to heat up.

A great lover of food, Curly blogged about his favorite recipes (which were, of course, best prepared in his premium oven model). Word spread around Twitter that his recipes were actually quite fantastic. Traffic to his website doubled and tripled, and then doubled and tripled again. People were not only ordering ovens, they were asking Curly if they could purchase a book of his recipes. A new revenue stream had been born!

One day, while Curly was counting his money, he heard a knock at the door. “OPEN UP!” cried the Big Bad Banker. “Or I’ll huff and I’ll puff and I’ll blow your business away!” Curly opened the door and flung a burlap bag full of silver dollars into his chest. “Oomph!” said the Big Bad Banker. “This should cover it. Have a nice day.”

In the years that followed, Curly’s business grew and grew – so profitably, in fact, that every new expansion was financed exclusively with internal resources. The Big Bad Banker never darkened his door again, and the Virtual Forest became as bright and happy as a kitten with a ball of string.

And what became of Moe and Larry? Their entrepreneurial dreams were dashed on the rocks of the vicious economic downturn. They and their families spent the rest of their days in reasonable comfort, counting Curly’s money and building ovens.

The End