Real Time Conversation: The Essence of Twitter

Scene 1: Flounder Forklift of Ohio, Corporate Offices

GRIGSBY: (On phone) Stan! We need to convene the Twitter Task Force immediately!

STARKE: Why?

GRIBSBY: We just got a Direct Message. A big company wants to buy ten forklifts right away!

STARKE: Wow! Reserve the conference room. I’ll rally the troops.

Scene 2: The Twitter Task Force Convenes

KRAMER: Read the message, read the message.

GRIGSBY: This came through ten minutes ago. It’s from a big company. “Opening new warehouse. Need 10 forklifts asap. Electric. Delivery more important than price.”

STARKE: What a lead! What’s the name of the company?

GRIGSBY: The Bigg Company.

KRAMER: Sounds big.

STARKE: Do we have ‘em in stock?

FISHBEIN: (Looks at monitor) Yes! Thirty-seven electric forklifts on hand.

KRAMER: Excellent. Tell ‘em we’re ready to go.

DELINE: Shouldn’t we check their credit worthiness before committing to a price?

KRAMER: They don’t care about price.

DELINE: Nevertheless …

STARKE: Agnes, call Phelps in Credit. Have him do a quick check. In the meantime let’s draft a response so Grigsby can retweed them. How do we word our reply?

(Long silence)

FISHBEIN: How about … “Thank you for your inquiry. Pending credit approval, we would be pleased to submit a proposal for -”

GRIGSBY: No, no, no. Too long. We need to be short and to the point. And more conversational.

STARKE: Makes sense! How would you word it, Charlie?

GRIGSBY: Um … “Hi, we’re ready to help. Click here for a credit app and we’ll get it going.”

KRAMER: No, no. Forget the credit app. Just say we can do it and get me on the phone with them. All this talk about credit will spook them.

DELINE: We shouldn’t over commit. What if they place the order and then we can’t fill it?

STARKE: Alright. Maybe we can wordsmith a compromise. How about … “Hi … we’re ready to help … pending credit approval.”

KRAMER: Sounds tentative.

DELINE: You’re over promising.

FISHBEIN: How would you propose to punctuate it?

STARKE: OK. Let’s do this. Everybody write down the wording you’re comfortable with, and we’ll go around the room and read them. How does that sound?

FISHBEIN: Can I borrow a pencil?

Scene 3 – The Twitter Task Force Meeting Continues

(45 minutes later)

STARKE: Read it back to us, Agnes.

DELINE: (Clears throat) “We are ready to ship your high quality forklifts once your order has been processed.” (Sounds of approval)

STARKE: Let’s vote. All in favor of -

GRIGSBY: (Looking at his iPhone) Wait a minute! The Bigg Company just sent us another tweet.

KRAMER: What, what, what?

GRIGSBY: It says, “Never mind. Already ordered. Will try u again next time.”

STARKE: Huh. What now?

FISHBEIN: How about we set up a Facebook page?

THE END